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Round Two, Week One, who is this happy me and can she stay???

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I still can’t quite believe that we are one week into cycle 2 of IVF. Something that had come to seem so far out of reach and so distant. But, here we are!  So for those of you that followed our journey last year will probably remember what a dark, miserable soul I become. How after about day four, I hated me, myself and I and everything and everyone around me. I felt like I was treading water, actually not water, more like a grey thick messy horrible goo that was stopping me being myself and getting to any place that was happy! Well, well well well, here we are, day 10 and honestly I can’t quite get over how different I feel. I feel bloody amazing.  So on Tuesday 18th off I went off to Bourne. I had told the Beard that there was no need for him to miss work and come with and instead I would go with Sheila. Sheila is my dads partner and it just so happens that in the last few years over various events and occurrences, we have ended up spending a lot of hospital time toge
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A year Later and Operation Baby Leeke is finally in motion

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Wow, where has the time gone! It seems quite impossible that this time last year I had just started my jabs and for the first time in 36 years, I’d began to grown breasts! Now here we are a year later, a few thousand pound lighter, a couple of stone heavier (not all that is my boobs sadly) and finally, after all this time, ready to begin round two of IVF to hopefully create our dream of having our very own Baby Leeke.  So, for those of you that followed us during round one, will know the following, for those just starting to follow our journey... Round one was a challenge. Changed me inside and out and at some points I was ready to give up. Round one resulted in a suspected Ectopic. We then fell pregnant naturally but resulted in ectopic and losing my final Fallopian tube.  The Beard has been in the Sperm donation programme because he has good little swimmers and amazing has agreed his spent can be used to help up to 5 couples in our similar circumstance. That had been
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Shit! Im clinically Infertile! I am 1 in 8. Thank goodness for Insta

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I need some happiness, hence the picture above. Back when we was care free, felt like we had all the time in the world, and appear to both share a love of HUGE glasses. I am nearly a month down the line after the monster Monday from hell and to be honest, it is all kind of now feeling tough and sinking in. I think I was so preoccupied with what was happening with my Dad that I kinda just said "OK I have had another ectopic and I am now 'Infertile', How is Dad?' Now, as dad is home and recovering, and I can see him doing so, I can go visit him and he has his fantastic sense of humour slowly coming back, I am starting now think, probably over think, everything else. I can not seem to stop playing over the speech from my Dr when she came to do the rounds the morning after my surgery and inform me what had happened. I had hardly slept because I came out of surgery in the small hours, I had been looked after the sweetest guy in recovery who insisted I needed Vaseline
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Testing times, the need to write and a week I want to forget

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Not the Easter Eggs I had in mind and shocking past 5 Days!  Let me set the scene, it’s been a while, which is a good thing, because recently I’ve been In a really good place, really good and have noticed the weeks flying past me, not the days dragging. It’s been quite enjoyable. Any way, this week that’s all changed and I have to do what I do best when flapping and that is shove it in a blog and get it out of my head! I am currently in hospital, its 4am and I am pretty sure I am still off my head on Morphine, becuse im sitting here writing this and havinf a 'lovely time' No one here is having a lovely time. My head is currently my enemy, so when this wears off and I get the update I can finish this, but here goes Monday my lovely foot wizardess arrived for my last round of fertility reflexology. We sat chatting away, like we always do and I can sense in her normal questions, seemed to be some new ones being asked and all pointing to one thing. Am I pregnant! For a
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Generosity and Feeling Thankfulness

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As February comes to a close in just a few days, I am trying my hardest to remain positive and believe that this year is our year. The Beard has started a new job, I’ve started to lose weight, exercise and make many changes to help us have the best shot of making our Little Leeke. It is just crazy that it was 6 months ago this week that I first injected myself and started the journey. Sunday I had my first bad day. I really hated being ‘baron’ I hated being a women, I hated be me, I hated The Beard and I hated life. But I snapped out of it as quick as I fell into it and realised I’m so ready to do this to achieve our dream. In the last six months I have learnt so much, things that I never thought my brain would have to comprehend, I’ve made new friends, I’ve lost “friends” and luckily I have the best relationship with my partner in crime, The Beard, my husband. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, well I think it is safe to say that we are proof in that pudding. A
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What Nobody Tells You and What I Did Not Know Before

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So its been a while, which I take as a good thing, I mean as I have said time and time again, I feel the need to write when normally I am freaking out or feeling out of control. But recently I have felt good. I have come into this year positive, I have started to look forward as if we will reach our target and we will get another shot, because I have realised that positivity is KEY! Again, i would like to thank everyone who has donated supported us financially, and to everyone who has continued to support us both in ways we can never thank you enough. If, no sorry, positive remember, WHEN we go again, I hope to have all of you by side again, because each and every one of you helped me so much, especially in deciding to go again and that could get through it, what ever the outcome. I have started of the new year by trying to tweak my life style. Little changes here and there not to join the band of new years resolutions, but hopefully to prepare me if we get to have our second c
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Medicals, Money and a Very Difficult Surprise Letter

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So January is nearly, nearly over and the last couple of weeks have probably been the best I have felt in about 6 months. I decided that this year I WAS going to have another go, one way or another we would fund it and I was going to be ready, mentally and physically. I was not sure how to go about this, but somehow I seem to have found my way and I am doing OK. I love a notebook, so with a beautiful new note book in front of me, with the prettiest cover, made for me by the wonderful 'Love Muffin' (she chose that blog name clearly not knowing me well enough that I would use it) I started investigating and planning. I decided to look at what I could do to prepare me, knowing what I know from round one, and soon I was writing down vitamins recommended, pills of loveliness that would make my eggs stronger and in just planning I started to feel my head clear and some calm come back into my life.  The one issue I felt that was stressing me out and causing me so much concern wa
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