A Need for Nappies

I still can’t quite believe that we are one week into cycle 2 of IVF. Something that had come to seem so far out of reach and so distant. But, here we are!  So for those of you that followed our journey last year will probably remember what a dark, miserable soul I become. How after about day four, I hated me, myself and I and everything and everyone around me. I felt like I was treading water, actually not water, more like a grey thick messy horrible goo that was stopping me being myself and getting to any place that was happy! Well, well well well, here we are, day 10 and honestly I can’t quite get over how different I feel. I feel bloody amazing.  So on Tuesday 18th off I went off to Bourne. I had told the Beard that there was no need for him to miss work and come with and instead I would go with Sheila. Sheila is my dads partner and it just so happens that in the last few years over various events and occurrences, we have ended up spending a lot of hospital ...

I need some happiness, hence the picture above. Back when we was care free, felt like we had all the time in the world, and appear to both share a love of HUGE glasses. I am nearly a month down the line after the monster Monday from hell and to be honest, it is all kind of now feeling tough and sinking in. I think I was so preoccupied with what was happening with my Dad that I kinda just said "OK I have had another ectopic and I am now 'Infertile', How is Dad?' Now, as dad is home and recovering, and I can see him doing so, I can go visit him and he has his fantastic sense of humour slowly coming back, I am starting now think, probably over think, everything else. I can not seem to stop playing over the speech from my Dr when she came to do the rounds the morning after my surgery and inform me what had happened. I had hardly slept because I came out of surgery in the small hours, I had been looked after the sweetest guy in recovery who insisted I needed Vaseline...

Not the Easter Eggs I had in mind and shocking past 5 Days!  Let me set the scene, it’s been a while, which is a good thing, because recently I’ve been In a really good place, really good and have noticed the weeks flying past me, not the days dragging. It’s been quite enjoyable. Any way, this week that’s all changed and I have to do what I do best when flapping and that is shove it in a blog and get it out of my head! I am currently in hospital, its 4am and I am pretty sure I am still off my head on Morphine, becuse im sitting here writing this and havinf a 'lovely time' No one here is having a lovely time. My head is currently my enemy, so when this wears off and I get the update I can finish this, but here goes Monday my lovely foot wizardess arrived for my last round of fertility reflexology. We sat chatting away, like we always do and I can sense in her normal questions, seemed to be some new ones being asked and all pointing to one thing. Am I pregnant! For a...

So its been a while, which I take as a good thing, I mean as I have said time and time again, I feel the need to write when normally I am freaking out or feeling out of control. But recently I have felt good. I have come into this year positive, I have started to look forward as if we will reach our target and we will get another shot, because I have realised that positivity is KEY! Again, i would like to thank everyone who has donated supported us financially, and to everyone who has continued to support us both in ways we can never thank you enough. If, no sorry, positive remember, WHEN we go again, I hope to have all of you by side again, because each and every one of you helped me so much, especially in deciding to go again and that could get through it, what ever the outcome. I have started of the new year by trying to tweak my life style. Little changes here and there not to join the band of new years resolutions, but hopefully to prepare me if we get to have our second c...