Friends, Generosity and Not Giving up

What a wonderful few days we have both have. After Thursdays appointment, the utter turmoil pit I had been thrown into head first, along with The Beard, felt impossible to get out of. I could not shake the feeling of utter selfishness, and still am struggling now, but then came along our friends.

One of the Witches of Eastwick, who I have mentioned previously and love all of them so much, took it into her hands and gave us the ultimate kick up the arse. She set up a donation page, to try to help us find the funds for another go. She kicked it off with a hearty donation and started the tears rolling for me again on Friday morning. This was something that had been mentioned to me so many times. It was something I was dead against. Me and my husband are not a charity, we should be able to do this ourselves. There are people out there needing so much more, they need it more than us. Then a very lovely lady, who I have not seen for years, but once used to dance with her in local village halls to rock bands, (Fuck me I sound ancient after reading that sentence out loud) advised me that people will give to those they want to give to. I looked at it as ours may not even come to anything, I mean we could get all these donations, have another go and fail. But then pointed out again by many, least we will be getting another go, something I honestly was starting to think would not happen. So Thank you to you Tash, you wonderful kind hearted woman. You will always be my stalker in crime, local detective partner and we chose you as our witness at our wedding for this very reason. Because you always have our backs. We think you are all right ;)

I honestly didn't expect to be where we are now. People have been so generous, so so generous, restored my faith the us humans and have literally made me speechless.  This evening we had an amazing anonymous donation of an unbelievable amount and I just can not get my head round how many people we have behind us That's a first, trust me.  Just look for yourself and you will see why!

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/natasha-hutchison?utm_id=1&utm_term=drxWJKm5z

As I write this tonight we have already covered the lab costs, and some of our extensive medication list. We still have a very long way to go, but every penny is a step closer to our dream, and our dream is being currently made with not just the love of its future parents, but all their parents friends and family. Our future baby Leeke will be told, one day, because I do now have my faith back and I believe this will happen, that they were made with a little bit of science, a lot of love from Mummy and Daddy but so much love from all of you, so many people from so many places.

To top that off, we have had 2 very special people who are willing to take part in the Gift Of Giving programme that I cried about in the last blog. They have both come forward and are willing to donate to the baby bank, gifting to us. Meaning we could well be on our way sooner rather than later as both us and the Dr's wanted us to be. Because I am old, the old biological clock and that, all the shit you really do not want to hear. To you two very special people and you know who you are, you have offered to help not only us, but other struggling families and couples out there who are probably sitting somewhere right now feeling exactly as I do. To have that will and want to do something so selfless and to want to do it to help us, Thank you. From the bottom of both mine, and The Beards Heart, thank you so so very much. I publicly declare we will always be grateful, do anything we can to help, be there with you every step of the way, well maybe not every, may miss the donation room out, but I will be there waiting for you afterwards with food and lols, both of those I can always provide.

As I said we still have a way to go, but the pure fact that I now have my faith back is just wonderful right now. I was really starting to hit rock bottom, maybe not on the outside, but on the inside I was so nearly there. We have booked our counselling sessions, we are in this together as always and I know we will get through this somehow, we there we cry together tears of sorrow, or tears of joy, I know i can always do it the arms of my bearded boy and feel his beard tickle my head as he soothes me, which always ends up badly as it tickles.

Thanks again all you lovelies

A Desperate Mummy to Be xxxxxx