1 Week down, 1 to go. Elasticated trousers and vaginal Lube - What a Life I Lead
They say what does not kill you, makes you stronger right? Well if that is the case, my super powers and my pants, leggings and cape surely must be out for delivery by now?
Today marks one week down, one to go! Part of me can not quite believe that this week is over already and it was last Friday we had the transfer, it seems unbelievable that I am sitting here, writing this, with one week down. In answer to the question you are all thinking, no! I have not tested. I have stocked up, even though the hospital gave us 2 too bring home, I have never wanted to piss on a stick more than anything, but no, I have been so good and not done so. There are a 2 reasons, and to put you all in the loop, here they are.
1. False Negative / Positives - This is a thing, this can happen. See if I tested to early, I could show positive from the hormones inside me from the trigger jab. Now as much as I want a positive result, I want one that means this little bearded beauty has stuck and decided to let out my womb for 9 months, not because I have tested too early and got a reading of artificial means like some extra head f%^k I do not need. As for the false negative, I do not want a negative result, false or not, simply because as much as I am preparing that this could well be the result, I would rather not induce early melt down and extreme pretend 'I am ok, another Gin?' only to then find out that I simply tested too early and I am, in fact harvesting our bean! Trust me I am desperate to know, each morning, as soon as I wake I think 'shall I' but for once, I am doing the right thing and not.
2. I m bloody scared. I am so scared that either way I am going to be a total mess, inevitably this is going to happen as one way or another it just has too, but it does not stop me being scared. Super, ruddy scared.
So there you go, I do not know, I have not tested, I am going to try my hardest to stick to the plan and continue to busy my days and have mini wobbles till test date. She says!!!!
This week has on the other hand, flown by way quicker than I imagined. Ive spent time with some adorable little people, big people too. I have been cooking loads, chilling loads and trying to be as normal as possible. Although bed time is fast becoming 8.30pm, The last 3/4 days a wave of extreme tiredness hits me at 3pm, followed by nausea at 5pm, both like an alarm, both shit, both probably from my hormones settling or getting used to not having an extra boost with a sharp needle. Last night I managed a bowl of chicken soup, which then come up, smelling and looking the exact same, never shall I touch that again. Which in itself is a travesty as I love chicken soup! Then 6pm, the beautiful vaginal lube has to come out, applied and then I have to walk about for 20 minutes. I have taken to dancing in the kitchen to some Motown vinyl most evenings, as it tends to take4 aw3ay the grossness. Honestly, I have never felt so dirty, degraded and shit for about 3 hours every evening. I know, it is all for the help and greater good, but as you get over one hurdle, there is another. Never ever let anyone tell you IVF is easy, if they do, feel free to shout Liar and pull their pants down and sting there back side, if you are not brave enough, send them my way, please.
One thing I have noticed this week is, I am getting old. I have purchased elasticated trousers to comfort my swollen, painful belly, Crop top bras that can accomodate my ever growing, veiny and painful tits (painting a sexy pic of myself here I know) I have brought an Ornament, but it is Beauty & The Beast, so that is not too bad, OK! Its terrible. I have also, joined a TEA CLUB! A bloody tea club, but I tell you one thing, its amazing and I am loving the tea so happiness is important right now, all of these things provide this so Im happy to be 'OLD'.
This weekend I am pooch sitting, and honestly he has helped already. He listens to my moans and groans, doesnt talk back, I get to move my fat ass by taking him on lovely walks and best of all he sits on my lap and snuggles. Well I say that, that appears to be when bloody Dr Dolittle AKA The Beard, is not here as he is favourite, which annoys me immensely but also I can see he likes it and this may work well with my covert operation ENAP (Emma Needs A Pup)
Lots of Love
A Desperate Mummy to Be xxxxxxx
Today marks one week down, one to go! Part of me can not quite believe that this week is over already and it was last Friday we had the transfer, it seems unbelievable that I am sitting here, writing this, with one week down. In answer to the question you are all thinking, no! I have not tested. I have stocked up, even though the hospital gave us 2 too bring home, I have never wanted to piss on a stick more than anything, but no, I have been so good and not done so. There are a 2 reasons, and to put you all in the loop, here they are.
1. False Negative / Positives - This is a thing, this can happen. See if I tested to early, I could show positive from the hormones inside me from the trigger jab. Now as much as I want a positive result, I want one that means this little bearded beauty has stuck and decided to let out my womb for 9 months, not because I have tested too early and got a reading of artificial means like some extra head f%^k I do not need. As for the false negative, I do not want a negative result, false or not, simply because as much as I am preparing that this could well be the result, I would rather not induce early melt down and extreme pretend 'I am ok, another Gin?' only to then find out that I simply tested too early and I am, in fact harvesting our bean! Trust me I am desperate to know, each morning, as soon as I wake I think 'shall I' but for once, I am doing the right thing and not.
2. I m bloody scared. I am so scared that either way I am going to be a total mess, inevitably this is going to happen as one way or another it just has too, but it does not stop me being scared. Super, ruddy scared.
So there you go, I do not know, I have not tested, I am going to try my hardest to stick to the plan and continue to busy my days and have mini wobbles till test date. She says!!!!
This week has on the other hand, flown by way quicker than I imagined. Ive spent time with some adorable little people, big people too. I have been cooking loads, chilling loads and trying to be as normal as possible. Although bed time is fast becoming 8.30pm, The last 3/4 days a wave of extreme tiredness hits me at 3pm, followed by nausea at 5pm, both like an alarm, both shit, both probably from my hormones settling or getting used to not having an extra boost with a sharp needle. Last night I managed a bowl of chicken soup, which then come up, smelling and looking the exact same, never shall I touch that again. Which in itself is a travesty as I love chicken soup! Then 6pm, the beautiful vaginal lube has to come out, applied and then I have to walk about for 20 minutes. I have taken to dancing in the kitchen to some Motown vinyl most evenings, as it tends to take4 aw3ay the grossness. Honestly, I have never felt so dirty, degraded and shit for about 3 hours every evening. I know, it is all for the help and greater good, but as you get over one hurdle, there is another. Never ever let anyone tell you IVF is easy, if they do, feel free to shout Liar and pull their pants down and sting there back side, if you are not brave enough, send them my way, please.
One thing I have noticed this week is, I am getting old. I have purchased elasticated trousers to comfort my swollen, painful belly, Crop top bras that can accomodate my ever growing, veiny and painful tits (painting a sexy pic of myself here I know) I have brought an Ornament, but it is Beauty & The Beast, so that is not too bad, OK! Its terrible. I have also, joined a TEA CLUB! A bloody tea club, but I tell you one thing, its amazing and I am loving the tea so happiness is important right now, all of these things provide this so Im happy to be 'OLD'.
This weekend I am pooch sitting, and honestly he has helped already. He listens to my moans and groans, doesnt talk back, I get to move my fat ass by taking him on lovely walks and best of all he sits on my lap and snuggles. Well I say that, that appears to be when bloody Dr Dolittle AKA The Beard, is not here as he is favourite, which annoys me immensely but also I can see he likes it and this may work well with my covert operation ENAP (Emma Needs A Pup)
Lots of Love
A Desperate Mummy to Be xxxxxxx
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